A Good Question

Have you ever been in a room full of people, when the question that was on your mind is expressed by someone else in the room, only to make you feel like you should have asked?  Lately, this is a common experience for me.  Probably because I am so busy trying to orient myself in the room and then distinguish what is being said, that by the time I form a question, someone else has asked. 
There is a reason that I started this blog with a question (aside from playing on the title) and not just any question.
I recently ran into someone from grade school and decided to become reacquainted.  We shared email information and after sending him an email that included a signature with one of my blogs as the "tagline" (thanks for that idea Stephanie) he asked about this blog.  He had a question that I think anyone that reads this blog may be wondering, so I decided to take the opportunity to answer it here.  Although I cannot remember the question verbatim, essentially he asked if I wanted this undiagnosed condition to be MS?  I understood how this blog may lead people to believe that is what I want.  So here is the answer that I gave him following his insightful question:
When a doctor first conveyed that my medical history suggested a possible MS diagnosis, I was relieved.  The relief was not to have MS per say but rather to be taken seriously.  For years, I have felt like I was going crazy, struggling with not feeling well but having tests coming back without results.  When my "symptoms" changed I did not want to go to the doctor because I was terrified of being judged as a hypochondriac or seen as wasting my doctor's time and yet this time he thought it could be something.  Once the feeling of relief passed and I thought about the enormity of a neurologically degenerative disease, I began to panic.  I like my brain the way it is and I still have a lot I would like to do with it.   Panic was followed with denial, believing that this would turn out like everything else in my medical history as just a scare, a benign test or a medical anomaly.
Then I was hit with realism: this is something.
So my answer, I want my health.  If I cannot have that then I just want answers.  I may talk a great deal about MS and that is because I have been pointed in that direction medically.  I am trying to be as prepared and educated as I can be.  I truly believe in proactive versus a reactive response.  Lastly, this experience has its own lessons for me to appreciate and learn from regardless of the end diagnosis.  I plan on reflecting on what this has meant to me and taking it forward in my career.  I consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to do that.