Getting up to speed

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I think that my blog may have contributed to google traffic surrounding information on Multiple Sclerosis.  I know that I googled the disease, its symptoms, diagnosis and treatment.  In fact, the first thing that Landy and I did when we got home from the first appointment was google MS and then google Optic Neuritis.  Since I was not feeling very well we only looked at websites for maybe half an hour and then I went for a nap.  It was too much information for one day and I took several days before I scanned the Internet for any more information.
It is easy to get overwhelmed by the medical websites like PubMedHealth or The health section on Canada.com and it is difficult to find reliable information if you only base information on subscribers of ASK.com or Yahoo Answers.  I did go to the Canadian MS Society webpage and found the information on that website incredibly helpful.  The Internet was an especially useful tool when I was compiling questions to ask my doctor.  It has a purpose but I know I have to use it wisely and be aware of how and why I am using the Internet to obtain my information.
An example of my need to be self aware came after my second doctor's appointment.  When I got home I was right back at the computer trying to find information to support an anxiety diagnosis.  That is when it occurred to me that I wanted answers to questions that I could not ask yet.
DAMMIT the unknown is so scary and very frustrating. I cannot help but see the irony of being stuck in my own head with all of this.  Left to think about it in the quiet spaces stuck between our crazy schedules. Luckily we are so busy that I am not getting a lot of time to think about it or dwell on the "what ifs" and that has helped me to slowly digest how significantly medical terminology such as a disease can impact you.
This is a bit of a rambling blog, because tonight that is how I feel, rambly, out of sync and unable to focus.  Doubtful that this is symptomatic, more likely that is a product of exhaustion.
If you haven't looked up MS, here is an abbreviated version of what I understand (which means it is falliable and should not be used for diagnostic or medical purposes).  The picture in the top left corner of the blog, shows the mylein that coat the nerves and it is this coating that is attacked by the T-cells of our immune system creating exposed nerves within the brain and spine.  These exposed nerves occur in clusters known as plaques and are irreversable.  Because the brain and spine are affected the symptoms are neurological and vary widely from one patient to another.  In order for MS to be considered as a possible diagnosis a patient must present with more than one symptom and have more than one "attack" seperated by space and time.
Tomorrow I am off to the optometrist for my two year check up.  I will be asking him about MS and my eye sight as well as about Optic Neuritis.  I am hoping I have a few more answers.